


Belinda’s Kiss

by MorganD



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Illness, M/M, graphic description of vile things, gross and questionable humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 23:24:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11023767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganD/pseuds/MorganD
Summary: Jace is consumed by a mysterious illness. Alec does what he can to keep his parabatai’s mind off it.





	Belinda’s Kiss

They joke about it being demon pox.

Well, it is a joke between the two of them, who know Jace hasn’t had sex with anyone other than Alec for the last fourteen years.

However, that is their most guarded secret. All most people know about Jace’s love life is that he has never married, and that in his younger days he had quite the reputation for sleeping around, not discriminating between Shadowhunters and Downworlders. So why not demons?

Alec wishes he could tell the healers the truth, so they would realize the unlikelihood of Jace catching such a vicious STD without infecting him. Granted, many of the symptoms are suspiciously similar—rapidly-spreading rash, high fever, skin sores, swollen limbs, hair loss, darkened corneas… But it has to be something else entirely.

Nothing is ruled out, though, and Jace is quarantined and given the usual treatment for demon pox as a precaution while more tests are made. A Silent Brother named Efraim is assigned to his case, and Catarina Loss comes to help.

Alec—and nobody else—is allowed to stay with Jace as long as he stays outside the magical net the warlock has placed around the patient’s bed. He can’t touch his parabatai, but he does what he can to comfort him, encourage him, and distract him from his body’s advancing deterioration.

Alec is not very good at it at first. Jace easily sees through his white lies and sugarcoating, and senses his parabatai’s deep concern through their bond.

Each new ulcer that pops on Jace’s skin aggravates Alec’s foreboding feelings, making those emotions harder and harder to hide. However, as much as Alec wishes he could keep his fears to himself, he can’t do it without closing himself off to their connection and weakening the bond.  And that’s decidedly the last thing Jace, isolated as he is, needs right now.

Ironically, it’s the rumors about Jace having demon pox that keep them in a light mood. Alec embraces the theme and entertains his parabatai with made-up stories about Jace’s lascivious encounters with a Behemoth in the dark alleys of the Meatpacking District. He calls the demon Belinda, and describes their lewd activities in detail.

“I bet what you loved the most was grinding with her, you know? Climbing on Belinda’s back and rubbing your hard cock against her viscous skin, getting your balls covered in mucus…”

Jace shudders. “God…”

“Or maybe you preferred to lie down on the filthy ground and have Belinda move on top of you, trapping you with her enormous weight, slithering back and forth, rubbing her thick, stinky ooze all over you.”

“Ugh! Fuck me…”

“Yes, she does. While your hands hold on to her ridged underside that looks just like a pretty, giant cockroach’s.”

“Yecch! That’s disgusting!” says Jace amidst hysterical laughter that quickly dissolves into much more repellant cough.

Alec can do nothing to help but wait until Jace’s breathing is somewhat back to normal. All he can do is be there, think of how much he loves Jace and needs him to be okay again, and project those feelings through their bond.

He’s not sure it helps. It certainly hasn’t produced any physical improvements so far.

But maybe it’ll give Jace’s soul the will to hang on for as long as it can.

* * *

The pain in his joints and the relentless itch on every inch of his skin keeps Jace from falling asleep naturally, so he’s given a sedative that allegedly knocks him out for a few hours after each dose. It really doesn’t feel like ‘a few hours,’ though, not when each time he wakes up it seems like the disease has devoured a gazillion more of his cells.

“You’ve been dreaming about Belinda, I know,” says Alec when he sees Jace opening his eyes.

Jace doesn’t remember any dreams, but he knows the game. “How did you guess?”

“Look down.”

Raising his head takes way more effort than it should, but Jace obeys the instruction at once. Then he lets it drop back on the pillow, trying to disguise his chuckle as a groan.

“That is a very tall tent, my friend,” says Alec.

The very notion that his weakened body still has what it takes to produce such an impressive morning wood is ludicrous, but there it is. “A tall tent for a tall lover,” Jace quips.

“Oh, yes. Belinda is… what? Seven feet tall? And maybe twelve feet long?”

“I like looking up into my lover’s eyes,” says Jace, and that’s something he can say with complete honesty.

Alec beams, and their bond hits Jace with an overflow of warmth and longing that threatens to take his breath away.

Alec notices it before it becomes too much, though, and reigns his emotions back in. “You know, I… I have to ask you something.”

“What?”

“You don’t need to tell me, but I’m terribly curious…”

“Just ask, Alec.”

“What were Belinda’s blowjobs like?”

“Bleah! For Raziel’s sake, Alec…” But of course now Jace is trying to picture it, and his mind can’t decide if that image is heinous or hilarious.

“I mean, the mouth of a Behemoth? It lines the whole length of its body! Technically, you could approach Belinda from _any_ side and still get your cock inside her mouth.”

“Brain bleach,” Jace moans. “I need brain bleach.”

“But what about the _teeth?_ That double row of serrated teeth?”

“Aaaaugh! _You_ need brain bleach, Alec. You need all the brain bleach _in the world_ …”

“Did she keep making that sound Behemoths make while she blew you? Like a chittering beetle?”

“Raziel help me…”

* * *

“Well, at least now we know for sure it’s not demon pox,” grunts Catarina as she examines the newest symptom.

Necrosis in his toes.

 _“Indeed,”_ replies Brother Efraim. _“This is most unexpected.”_

Alec doesn’t want to ask. Not in front of Jace.

But Jace needs to know. “Am I going to lose them? Are you going to cut them off? _How much_ will you cut?”

“We’re not there yet,” says Catarina. “I have a potion that can slow down the process while we figure out what is causing this.”

 _“I would recommend maggot therapy,”_ suggests Brother Efraim.

Jace cringes. “Maggots?”

_“Larvae of green-winged flies from Idris.”_

“That doesn’t sound any better, Effy.”

It is hard to read anything on the Silent Brother’s face, but Alec thinks he sees an eyebrow rise slightly at Jace’s nickname for him.

“Cat, I think I’d rather go with your potion instead,” Jace mutters. “Just don’t tell me what the ingredients are.”

“Huh. What a delicate flower this mighty Shadowhunter turned out to be,” she ripostes. “Don’t worry, kid. I won’t offend your sensibilities by mentioning eyes of newts or scales of lizards.”

“I’ve always appreciated your bedside manners,” Jace croaks.

“I’m glad you’re _finally_ convinced it’s not demon pox,” says Alec, trying to disguise his bitterness. “Any idea of what it actually is?”

 _“This does not fit any of the scenarios we have surmised so far,”_ admits Brother Efraim.

“It’s still very likely to be something he caught from contact with demonic fluids, though,” she points out. “We just need to figure out what the hell it is.”

“If Jace got it from contact with fluids…” Alec starts hopefully.

However, Catarina knows exactly what he has in mind. “I said ‘likely’. We can’t be certain it’s not airborne until we identify it for sure. You need to stay outside the isolation net _at all times_ , Alec. I can’t stress that enough. You can’t help Jace by making yourself sick and giving us even more trouble.”

Alec nods reluctantly. That goes against his most basic instincts to give into the call of the bond and take his parabatai in his arms. Nonetheless, he needs to keep his head and give Jace what he _needs_ , not what they both want.

When the warlock and the Silent Brother leave, Jace can’t help the feeling of defeat. His body has turned against him in spite of everything he’s done over the years to fortify it.

Necrosis, from the Greek _nekrōsis_ , ‘a state of death’. His feet are already walking that path, which meant that soon…

But Alec won’t let him focus on that. “See?” he says as soon as the two of them are alone in the room again. “All those steamy, slobbery, frothing kisses from Belinda. You’re paying the price for your indiscretion.”

“Yuck!”

“What a sight it must have been. You frenching Belinda… her ginormous drooling tongue in your little pouting mouth…”

Jace sniggers. “Behemoths don’t have tongues, Alec.”

* * *

The potion works at first.

For a few days.

And then it doesn’t anymore.

Brother Efraim places a metal bar two feet above the bed and drapes a sheet over it, forming a small curtain, to block Jace’s view from whatever is happening with his lower extremities. So he can’t actually see the maggots eating away the dead cells of his feet, but just _knowing_ that that they are there…

Alec instinctively realizes that Jace is not in the mood for any more graphic descriptions of his love affair with a repulsive-looking demon.

So while the stories about Belinda continue, they change drastically in nature.

“I think you should definitely consider making an honest Behemoth out of Belinda,” asserts Alec. “Put a ring on it, as Simon used to sing.”

“Behemoths have no fingers.”

“But I’m sure she has feelings! And you’re too noble to have led her on this whole time. I’m sure your attraction to her stems from real admiration for her personality and… affection.”

Jace smiles. He’s so tired. Even talking exhausts him now. “Belinda’s personality…” He’s cut off by a raspy cough. “Tell me what she’s like.”

Alec does, in great detail, until Jace falls asleep.

* * *

Jace wakes up feeling so much better than he has in weeks. He can tell it’s not from any improvement in his health, though, but from feeling the loving warmth of his parabatai’s body wrapped around his own in a gentle embrace, the physical connection rekindling an aspect of their bond that the forced separation had dimmed for too long.

He opens his eyes and finds out that the magical net is gone. He looks around, expecting Catarina or Brother Efraim to be there to explain the situation to him, but the only person in the room with him is Alec.

Alec, who is lying beside him on the bed, touching him, cuddling him, caressing his face.

In spite of all the pain, the nausea, the itching, the pressure in his lungs… this feels like heaven.

“You’re thirsty,” Alec murmurs. “Let me get you some ice chips.”

Jace is indeed thirsty, and not at all surprised that Alec can somehow sense that through their bond. But his hunger for Alec’s touch is much stronger. “Don’t go.”

“…okay.” Alec lays his head on Jace’s shoulder and breathes deeply. “They found out what it is.”

“Oh. What is it?”

“The Seelies call it the Pucas’ Scourge. Because it’s only been known to affect pucas so far.”

“So I got it from a puca? But I haven’t slept with any pucas.” Jace slips his fingers through Alec’s hair. “I swear. No pucas. Nobody, at least in the last decade. No one but you.”

Alec smiles. “It’s not an STD. The virus is transmitted through blood only. Apparently, pucas have a septennial ritual that involves drinking a drop of blood from each of their closest friends? Something like that. A few times in their history that habit resulted in the disease spreading through most of the population.”

“Nasty.” Jace does remember a mission in which he had to face a group of murderous pucas, a mission that unfortunately ended in a bloodbath. It was a couple of months ago, but maybe this is one of those viruses that lie dormant for a long time before showing symptoms. “So Belinda is innocent, then?”

“I’m afraid Belinda cheated on you, babe.”

“Whaaaaaat? She wouldn’t!”

“The drinking of tainted blood is how the disease spreads. But the way it _enters_ the population is through that one puca who could not resist the charms of a hot slimy demon and its oozing saliva.”

“Eugh. And I was just about to propose to her.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“Belinda, Belinda… you broke my heart.” Jace hugs Alec tighter. “So… you’re here.”

“Yes, I am.”

“And the damn net is gone.”

“Yep.”

“So I’m not contagious?”

“You are, but this thing isn’t transmitted through air. Only through direct exposure to infected blood.”

“Okay. And I didn’t cough blood on anyone’s face, did I?”

Alec’s giggle is partially muffled by Jace’s infirmary gown. “No. Although you threatened to spit on Brother Efraim when he came to give you a rectal exam.”

“Oh, Effy. Didn’t even buy me dinner first.”

“I don’t think he expected you to be so high-maintenance.”

“It’s all your fault, you know. You’ve spoiled me for all others.” Every movement hurts like fucking hell, but he drops a kiss on Alec’s brow. “So… what’s the treatment? Has it begun already?”

Alec is drawing lazy patterns on Jace’s chest with his finger. When he answers, his voice sounds distant, almost sleepy. “There’s no treatment, Jace.”

“What… what do you mean?”

“There’s nothing more to be done, my love. No cure.”

“But… the Seelies might know something…”

“They have a cure for the pucas. It’s entirely based on strengthening their demonic cells. Which you don’t have. Your angel blood would counteract their medicine and put you through even more pain before you’re gone.”

“So…”

“So… the battle is over. No more fighting. You can rest now.”

Jace is hit by so many emotions at the same time that his mind goes totally blank for a long while.

He’s dying. He’s been dying for weeks now, and he knew that—he had felt it, both in his weakening muscles and in the growing despair he sensed from his parabatai. But now… knowing it’s no longer a ‘probably’ but a ‘definitely’…

He’s never dealt well with defeat.

He never imagined it would be this way, either. He always believed he would die in combat. Quickly. With no more than a few minutes to realize it was happening and to regret all the things he wouldn’t be able to do.

And Alec… oh, Angel, he was leaving Alec.

Losing his parabatai was a pain he had fervently prayed he would never have to endure… but to inflict it on Alec… He couldn’t bear the thought, either.

“Alec? Please, look at me.”

Alec obeys immediately. His eyes are red-rimmed with tears, but his smile is bright and genuine. “Tell me what you need.”

“I… I need to know that you’ll be okay.”

“Don’t worry about me.”

“You can’t ask me that. When our bond breaks…”

“We always knew this day would come, Jace.”

Jace gulps. “Not this soon.” His vision, already dimmed by the disease, becomes blurry with tears. “I love you so much, Alec. I need you to know that I…”

Alec’s chuckle is soft and full of tenderness. “Don’t waste our time with goodbyes. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“What do you mean by that?”

Alec kisses him sweetly for a moment before resting his head again on Jace’s shoulder. And it suddenly dawns on Jace that although they are alone in the room, the door is wide open, and anyone might enter at any time and catch them cuddling and kissing in a way parabatai are not supposed to do.

Alec is never that careless.

“Alec? Alec, what do you mean?” Jace feels nothing but peace and infinite affection flowing from his lover through their bond, and somehow that _terrifies_ him now. “Alec, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Whither thou goest,” Alec murmurs. “Where thou diest.”

_Oh, Raziel._

“No, no, no… Alec, Alec, what did you do? Please, Alec what the fuck did you do?!” He doesn’t want to spend his last drops of strength yelling at his parabatai, but he _has_ to, because Alec… his sweet, stupid Alec…

“Shhh… It’s done now.” Alec grabs Jace’s hand and entwines their fingers together, and only now does Jace notice the new bandage around the tip of his own index finger. “I’m sorry for sucking your blood while you were asleep. It was creepy as hell. But I knew you wouldn’t let me do it if you were awake, and… you’re not leaving me behind, Jace.”

“Call Cat,” Jace urges him. “Call Effy, _now!_ I’m too far gone, but there might be time to save you. They can think of something.”

“Catarina already knows. She was so angry, I thought she might kill me herself.” Alec giggles. “I’m still not convinced she won’t, but hopefully she’ll at least let me live for as long as you do.”

“She’s working on a cure for you, isn’t she? Please tell me that’s why she’s not here.”

“She’s making sure Brother Efraim is busy elsewhere and no one else comes to interrupt us.”

“What lazy, awful kind of healer is she?! She’s not even trying? You’ve _just_ been infected! This thing took two months to begin to affect me, and now that she knows what it is, there must be enough time to…”

Alec turns their laced hands so Jace can see the angry rash covering the whole inner side of his arm, already dotted with large oozing sores. “It’s progressing way faster than it did with you for some reason.”

Jace doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know what to think. He wants to howl and weep and curse at the skies, but his throat closes up, and the only sound he manages to produce is a devastated whimper.

“Hey… Don’t be sad,” Alec whispers, shifting his head so they can look into each other’s eyes. “Everything is going to be fine now.”

“…h-- how?”

“I can sense how much you’re hurting, Jace. I know how hard you’ve been fighting. And I know that’s because you’re a stubborn bad-ass who’s that determined not to leave me.”

“Alec…”

“But now… it’s fine… you see? You don’t need to put yourself through this misery anymore. You can let go.”

“No… I can’t…”

“Yes, babe, you can. Just let go. I’ll catch up with you. Okay?”

* * *

When Catarina and Brother Efraim return to the room hours later, the two men’s bodies are already starting to cool.

The warlock is still furious, but also heartbroken and perplexed. “I really didn’t think the disease would consume him this fast,” she mutters, studying the tension in Alec’s features.

 _“The disease did not kill him,”_ replies Brother Efraim. _“It merely weakened his body to the point where he could not withstand the rupture of their bond.”_  He reverently covers the two parabatai with a white silk sheet. _“Alexander Lightwood, Jace…”_

“Lightwood,” she provides.

The Silent Brother nods. _“Jace Lightwood. Ave atque vale.”_

Catarina shakes her head, her eyes burning. “Such a fucking waste, Effy.”

_“Yes. A fucking waste indeed.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Day 5 of Jalec Spring Break – Death
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr as morgandeeyue.


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